Hong Kong Volunteer Group Leader Team:

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Josephine Fung

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Josephine is a Registered Social Worker. She previously worked at the Social Welfare Department and youth centers. She later served for many years as a Student Counselling Officer at a tertiary institution. In the past, she also served in youth and children’s ministry at church.

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She is currently pursuing a Master of Professional Counselling jointly offered by Hong Kong Christian Counselling Institute and Olivet Nazarene University (USA).

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She is presently serving as a Psychological Counsellor at Heart Delight Centre under the supervision of Dr. Kot. She is also a volunteer Emotional Growth Group Leader of the Rapha Foundation. In addition, she provides play therapy and counselling services for primary school students and parents in Hong Kong.

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Josephine Fung – A Testimony of Gratitude in Serving at Rapha

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I never imagined that I would become so deeply connected with Rapha, nor did I ever expect to become a group leader; everything was beyond my plans. It was Rapha that helped me become aware that from the time I was in my mother’s womb, through a difficult birth, and within a family filled with daily conflict, I was already frozen from the moment I was born. The various trauma throughout my growing years, and the absence of anyone able to connect with me, sealed me layer upon layer beneath thick ice, leaving me living in what felt like the safest, yet at the same time most terrifying, self-contained world. As a result, my heart was filled with fear — so much fear that I could not feel my own feelings, nor did I know what was happening with others; I was merely like a wooden puppet, with little connection to the real world, and many fragments of my youth were blank.

I have suffered from insomnia since 1988, and I have experienced chronic pain throughout my body for more than ten years. I was diagnosed by doctors with anxiety and depressive disorders. Deep in my heart, I felt that people were terrifying. In the past, when I came into contact with others, I would become so frightened that my mind would go blank and freeze, and I would avoid interacting with people by hiding in the office. After work, I would not keep in contact with anyone. In fact, apart from work, for many years I was paralyzed at home, unable to do anything, and I even thought about jumping from a building to end my life. Facing so many struggles, I did not know how to express myself, nor did I dare to seek help. When I met people, I did not reveal my true self; instead, I presented a pleasant but false image.
 

I was terrified that others would discover the extreme insecurity, inferiority, and sense that I was never good enough within me. The safest way was to hide myself. I tried to improve myself by my own methods, but the result was that both my body and mind became utterly exhausted. Even the family members I lived with and friends who had known me for many years never knew about my struggles. My inability to express the pain within kept me trapped in fear and loneliness for a long time. Whenever I opened my mouth to express myself, I was already extremely terrified, my whole body freezing and trembling uncontrollably. If I had to seek help again and again, it felt more unbearable than death. According to my family, when I was a baby, I was once abandoned on the street by my father and relatives; I believe this incident caused me to develop an intense fear of abandonment and of expressing myself.
 

It was Rapha that enabled me to become aware of my own problems. I am grateful to Dr. Kot for affirming that my gift lies in counselling, giving me validation and clarity regarding my calling for the second half of my life. Although I have walked a longer road than most, and the degree to which I was frozen was severe, carrying pain that is difficult for others to understand, I have nevertheless moved forward courageously step by step, and will continue to walk forward with the Lord who loves me most.

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God has even used my trauma for me to co-work with Him, helping other wounded sheep who have been traumatized. These marks of wounding have also become signs of grace — though painful, they are accompanied by tears of gratitude. In serving, I receive deep fulfillment and joy. During the training as a group leader, I had the opportunity to become aware of parts that were previously beyond my awareness and to receive release. I also experienced the acceptance of Dr. Kot, Sabrina, fellow group leaders, and group members, and I more deeply experienced God’s unconditional love — I am able to present my least lovable self, no longer relying on my own effort, freed from a life of bondage, and able to receive freedom.

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In Rapha, I learned to establish a new pattern of relating to others — expressing appropriate anger, setting boundaries, and preventing further harm. In addition, revealing my true self to others — this process was terrifying, yet truly effective. In Rapha, I learned to courageously expose the fear, inadequacy, and shortcomings that I had long kept hidden. Miraculously, the outermost layer of ice around me gradually melted on its own, and my fear of relating to others decreased significantly.

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God used cancer to allow me to experience the care of many people in Rapha — truly a joyful journey in every sense. Afterwards, I participated in my first psychodrama in life, went on two short-term mission trips to Malaysia, took part in evangelistic meetings, and began four part-time jobs — all of which were things I had never imagined.

A person who has long lived in fear, long-term paralysis, and isolation could not possibly have come this far without the grace of God. I can only thank the Lord who loves me for using Rapha to help redirect the course of my life, allowing me, who have lived with chronic illness, to experience renewal of body and mind — reduced pain, improved insomnia, and learning to establish safe connections with others. I feel like the woman who suffered from hemorrhage recorded in the Bible — who spent all her money and time seeking healing. Lord, I believe. The Lord has heard my cry.

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I know that He will continue to accomplish His work. Although my inner being is still wrapped in layer upon layer of thick ice, and the depths of my heart remain imprisoned in a frozen land, unable to move, He will continue His healing, gradually melting the frozen chamber of my heart with His love and His way. Through the One who strengthens me, I will continue to move forward. Even when parts of me remain frozen and unable to advance, I know that He will hold me and carry me to a new place — a more beautiful realm that I could never reach on my own.

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