Emotional Support after Trauma

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The unrest triggered by Hong Kong’s “Anti-Extradition Law Amendment Bill” has continued for many months. Many brothers and sisters have therefore felt physically and emotionally exhausted, and even nervous and discouraged. It is believed that not only people in Hong Kong have been traumatised—those outside Hong Kong, or even those who have not been on the frontlines, may also have experienced some degree of trauma from seeing too many scenes of violence, injustice, and injury, or from experiencing conflicts within close family relationships arising from different “stances.”

 

What is “trauma”?

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“Trauma” refers to experiences that cause extreme emotional distress such that one’s internal resources are unable to cope. It is not necessary to experience an event personally for trauma to occur; when we see others being harmed and have an internal reaction, this is also a form of trauma.

Trauma not only causes intense distress, but may even lead to a sense that one’s life is under threat, leaving one unable to fight or flee. Because both the inner and outer worlds have become highly chaotic and unpredictable, we are no longer able to regulate our emotions.

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There are many causes of trauma, such as threats to life, physical injury or violation, harm to loved ones or friends, witnessing death, or repeated trauma. Trauma causes a lack of sense of safety and intimacy, leading to feelings of being disrespected and unable to trust, and thus a desire to increase personal control and independence. In severe cases, those who are traumatised may develop depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, or substance misuse.

 

Signs of Stress / Trauma

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Different people may show different responses when facing stress or trauma. These can be understood from five aspects: bodily functioning, mental state, emotions, behaviour, and spiritual life.

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Possible responses
 

Bodily functions: rapid heartbeat, dizziness, headaches, sweating, difficulty breathing, teeth grinding, blurred vision, etc.

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Mental state: increased/decreased attention to the body, reduced ability to process problems and communicate, confused thinking, memory difficulties, tendency to blame others, reduced concentration and focus, impaired decision-making, etc.

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Emotions: easily nervous, guilt, intense anger and frustration, self-doubt, self-denial, sadness, numbness, depression, fear, irritability, loneliness, agitation, helplessness, etc.

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Behaviour: changes in activity patterns, fatigue, withdrawal, emotional outbursts, insomnia, unusual behaviours, recurring dreams, etc.

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Spiritual life: feeling that prayer is meaningless, being drawn to worldly matters, lack of faith, lack of hope, lack of peace, unwillingness to engage in spiritual disciplines or draw near to God, etc.

 

Responses to Stress / Trauma

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When facing stress or trauma, different people respond differently, but broadly can be divided into three types: fight, frozen behaviour, and flight. In a healthy nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic nervous system can shift in dominance. However, when a person is under  stress and trauma, dysregulation occurs. On the surface, one may appear to function as usual, but in reality, the body is unable to recover automatically. Those who are traumatised tend to show extreme reactions. Some become highly sensitive, easily interpreting others’ intentions as something else; some become extremely angry and quick to blame others; others become extremely fearful, such as immediately preparing to emigrate or being afraid to go outside. Therefore, we should not use words that may trigger those who are traumatised.

 

In a previous current affairs programme, a teenage girl was interviewed. She was stopped by her father from going out to join a protest, and was even slapped. The girl shared that at her most painful moment, her father told her that the whole family could not return to the mainland because of her. From this case, we see that when both parties are hurt, neither is able to express what is in their hearts, and communication breaks down. The girl could not express her reason for participating in the protest (hoping to fight for the future and freedom), and the father could not express the reason behind hitting her (possibly fear for her safety and life). When a person is emotionally activated, they are often unable to express their inner feelings. When one party is activated, they do not realise that the other may also be unable to express their feelings due to anger and nervousness, and can only express agitation—resulting in mutual hurt. Therefore, in addition to addressing one’s own trauma, we must also understand that others may not intend to harm us; they may also be reacting out of unprocessed trauma.

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Therefore, we need to understand the signs of trauma, heightened sensitivity, and excessive emotional responses. At present, many people in Hong Kong are under the shadow of trauma, in a state of fear, anger, and hurt. This state is stored in the body, preventing it from recovering and settling naturally.

 

Why do people respond differently to the same situation?

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Each person carries different past emotional memories.

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For example, if a person often experienced injustice in childhood, they may become highly sensitive to injustice, and thus react with strong anger toward similar situations in the current social unrest. If a person often experiences violence, seeing repeated scenes of violence may cause their inner anger to intensify. If a person was never listened to growing up, seeing large-scale protests being ignored may lead to deep sadness.

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This shows that when emotional reactions are stronger than usual, they may be influenced by stored emotional experiences from the past, leading to emotional dysregulation, outbursts, frozen behaviour, or avoidance. When you understand what most affects yourself or others, you can better help yourself and others.

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Ways to Respond to Stress and Trauma

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Prayer, worship, spiritual disciplines, journaling, retreats, travel, sharing with others, and recreation can help relieve general stress. However, when one is already in trauma, specific handling is needed.

The first step is to release frozen behaviour—this means becoming grounded and settled, slowing down, taking deep breaths, and sensing your bodily experience. Therefore, when speaking with a traumatised person, speak slowly, look into their eyes, and gentle physical contact (such as lightly placing a hand on the shoulder) can help them calm down.

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The process of “unfreezing” requires practice. We encourage more prayer, worship, and spending quiet, mutually supportive time with brothers and sisters. When a person becomes unfrozen (that is, calm), they are able to express what could not be said and express emotions that could not be expressed.

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Focusing 

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Focusing teaches us how to stop staying within current life issues and create space for new possibilities to emerge. Through dialogue with the body, bodily symptoms can be reduced.

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For example, when headaches cannot be relieved by medication, one may try speaking to the body—telling it that you are overwhelmed, that you cannot continue thinking, and that you need to stop and relax. After this, the headache may lessen.

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In the daily process of facing emotional fluctuations, we can listen more to our inner thoughts, speak to our body, and develop greater empathy and understanding toward our inner feelings and emotions. Gradually, as we become still, we can turn to God—speaking to Him and listening to His voice. We can bring our understood feelings and emotions to Him, then wait quietly for God, listening for His comfort, Scripture, or message.

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For those who are traumatised, entering stillness may not be easy, and requires practice and patience. The more difficult it is to be still, the more intense the inner feelings may be. Practising together with spiritual companions can provide greater support and make it easier.

 

Facing Conflicts in Different Political Views

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When facing differing political views within family or society, those in a mediating role may easily fall into a position of being misunderstood by both sides. Therefore:

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First, be still before God. Become aware of why you have certain emotional reactions to the current situation, and whether these are related to past emotional experiences that incline you toward a particular stance. This reflection helps you understand your thoughts more objectively. Then pray for yourself, opening your thoughts and feelings to God, asking Him to help you, out of love for brothers and sisters, to be willing to set aside your own stance.

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Be willing to remain open, acknowledging that what you see and know is not complete, and that you may not fully understand either side. Acknowledging your limitations helps others see that you are not biased, but simply not able to fully grasp everything.

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More importantly, listen to the emotional responses of others. Help them understand why they feel such intensity or pain. The focus is to let them feel understood—not only because of the current situation, but possibly also due to similar wounds in their past. This deeper sense of being understood helps calm inner turbulence.

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Because in the face of deep social conflict and division, the hidden struggles within people are unknown to us, and not fully understood, Paul teaches us not to judge:
“Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart” (1 Corinthians 4:3–5).

Key point: Do not challenge others’ political views. Accept that their beliefs are related to their past experiences.

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If your views differ from the mainstream, you may feel marginalised or unwilling to express them openly, which may affect trust and cooperation in relationships. In such cases, first understand your own emotional reactions and reasons (point 1), then understand the beliefs and reasons behind others’ views (point 3). When both sides understand the roots of their differences, it becomes easier to let go, recognising that differences arise from different backgrounds and experiences—not from “right or wrong” or “love or lack of love.”

 

Faith Response

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Finally, as Christians, facing social turmoil is a lesson in faith. In the storms of life, we can find our “anchor” in God—returning to His creation, the redemption of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the presence of the Holy Spirit, which becomes our strength in difficulty.

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We trust more deeply in God’s precious promises—not only the hope of eternity, but also that God is with us (Emmanuel). We learn to rely on Him more. Even when we cannot see a way forward, we still believe that God reigns in Hong Kong and everywhere.

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We need to move out from the fear of trauma, no longer relying on our own understanding, but humbly acknowledging that what we know and see is limited. We must trust that God’s thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9), no longer insisting on our own expectations, nor complaining to God, but learning obedience and seeking to understand His will.

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In times of deep division, we are called to listen with humility, to understand with love, and to walk together through difficult times—looking to God, that through love and listening, wounded hearts may comfort and heal one another.

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Dr. Katherine Kot
Founder and Honorary Executive Director
Rapha Foundation Ltd